One thing that I always think about when I think of Queen Oprah is her saying that “the Universe speaks to us, always, first in whispers.”
I once dated a guy who was pretty cool– decent conversationalist, decent job, decent personality. Nothing positive stood out about him, but there was no reason to not date him. There were some things that he would do or say that I didn’t understand, but he was never outright rude, so I bought time and continued to talk to this guy.
During one of our conversations, he mentioned that he didn’t like Mexican food. What followed was sheer confusion on my part. I unleashed a flurry of questions: “What don’t you like about it?” “Have you had Mexican in Texas and/or California?” “Have you had guacamole before” “Do you have something against warm, buttery tortillas dipped in salsa???”
Well y’all, he had no answers for any of those questions. The man had not tasted Tex Mex from Texas or delicious California Mexican food, and STILL was convinced he didn’t like it. I was aghast. I got off of the phone quickly in disgust. But then as I thought about it longer, things started to make sense. The universe had sent me some whispers, and with the revelation about Mexican food, it all started to make sense. Three things in particular stood out:
- This guy was irrational. It’s irrational to not like (good) Mexican food. I give people who haven’t tried Mexican in Texas and California a pass, but outside of that, you’re beyond the bounds of rational thinking. What’s not to like about cheese and tortillas and fresh vegetables and fajita-grilled meats and spicy condiments? Sure enough, I recalled a time when he told me about calling the police on a neighbor’s birthday party because they were “too loud” at 9 pm. The man was not reasonable.
- When it boiled down to it, the reason this guy didn’t like Mexican food is because he was picky. He didn’t like onions, didn’t like avocado, didn’t like cilantro, didn’t like taste. In a previous conversation, he told me about a time he took a trip overseas to Thailand and ate nothing but American food chains. Can you imagine going to a place with as much flavor and delicious cuisine as Thailand and choosing to go to Applebee’s?!?!*
Brb going to go find some fajitas.
(I’m not sure if there’s an Applebee’s in Thailand, but that’s what I pictured when he said that). That let me know right there– he wouldn’t be up for any of the adventures I would want to embark on.
- Finally, he was just stubborn. At the end of the day, I don’t fault people for not liking things. I will call a spade a spade if someone is a picky eater, but if a person has tried something and doesn’t like it, it is what it is. But as people get older, I would hope they would try different things every once in a while to see how they feel about it. Taste buds certainly change. But this guy was too stubborn to even try Mexican again.
The fact that he would not even try it again was the nail in the coffin for me. I stopped dating the guy after that conversation. Him not liking Mexican food highlighted three qualities about him that wouldn’t work– he was irrational, picky, and stubborn. The universe was giving me whispers, and I listened. And then I went and got some fajitas.
*Applebee’s is delicious, and I will go there any old day in America. I just would choose an authentic Thai restaurant while I’m in Thailand to get the experience.